By Danny Acosta

MMA's globetrotting powerhouse continues its U.K. conquest with UFC 85 from the O2 Arena in London. Sure, there are a lot less afros than other globetrotters, but tuning in might still be worth it. British fans especially will be compelled to turn on their tubes and pack into pubs since the UFC continues its pandering by adding a new weight class affectionately titled "Ricky Fatton." All badass overweight pugilistic references aside (Butterbean), the fighters for Saturday's card will load up with bangers and mash while fervent English fans attempt to drink themselves out of their Manchester United championship hangover. Meanwhile, people everywhere will wonder why in L. Rob Hubbard's blue heaven is this card called Bedlam?

The main event sees the return of the greatest welterweight of all-time(s)-based on title defenses, not the ability to defeat Georges St. Pierre-Matt Hughes against Thiago Alves. Fighting out of the H.I.T. Squad and the twilight of his career, MMA's favorite farm boy faces perhaps the most dangerous striker at 170-pounds. The fight represents two different stages in two polar opposite careers. For Hughes, a loss means more haystacks than haymakers. For Alves, a loss means slightly less women than the average Sex and the City movie premiere.

It's also another style clash: wrestler versus striker. "The Pitbull" wants to prevent Hughes from locking his jaws in on the ground. A large fighter with stellar takedown defense is a nightmare matchup for the Illinoisan, who has made a living imposing his will via strength by way of takedowns. Recent underwhelming performances by the former UFC champion do not indicate Hughes can deal with the Brazilian's momentum.

Like fellow fallen great Tito Ortiz, Hughes has not developed the wrestling to continue having his way with opponents. Unflappable cardio seems to be his main advantage against the lethal Muay Thai specialist who can fade in the later rounds. However, technical, powerful striking and a pension for dismantling grapplers means no more reality show stints for Hughes.

Heavyweights Fabricio Werdum and Brandon Vera look to punch each other's faces and their rifle tickets in the UFC's post-Randy Couture sweepstakes. The Brazilian's extended vacations with Mirko Crocop and sleepovers at Chute Boxe won't be enough to knockout the swift Muay Thai of Vera, but it should disparage the smaller fighter, who is returning from an injury and emotionally draining contract disputes. The Pride veteran's submission talents were enough to ride wild boar Gabriel Gonzaga twice like a pony. The Filipino-American, a disciple of Lloyd Irvin, can hold his own on the ground, but knows better than to hit the ground with a pure grappler who lacks knockout power.

"The Truth" has borderline Frank Shamrock syndrome with his confidence in his skills. Admittedly not throwing enough leg kicks against Tim Sylvia, Vera understands natural ability is nothing without game plan and execution. He will try to set himself free by staying standing en route to a decision.

There are few times MMA grappling fans have wet dreams about upcoming fights. Nate Marquardt versus Thales Leites has lead to a boom for dry cleaners everywhere. "The Great" demolished high-level grapplers Dean Lister and Jeremy Horn with animalistic strength. However, Leites has a more complete game. The Nova Uniao black belt is a swift grappler that has been running through competition since his lone loss in his UFC debut against Martin Kampmann. Rebounding off a loss from Anderson Silva, Marquardt has the hunger and strategy via Greg Jackson to defeat the tough Brazilian whether the fight stays standing or hits the mat.

Michael Bisping once again fights in his home country of London when takes on Canadian Jason Day in middleweight action. "The Count" was originally slated to face Chris Leben before "The Crippler" did his best impression of random guy number two on Hollywood Blvd, so "Dooms" stepped in after an impressive win over Alan Belcher. Bisping also fought that night, placing the two fighters in a training time crunch on the opposite side of talented, gritty opponents. Anywhere this fight goes, expect colonial sized destruction. Bisping has some advantages to be named later that should guide him to victory.

In welterweight action, Marcus Davis hopes to get ride of Mike "Quick" Swick…fast. The former professional boxer is adamant that no one wants to stand with him. In this case, he is wrong. The American Kickboxing Academy versus Team Sitydotong makes for a guaranteed stand-up battle. Swick sports a more well-rounded striking game and is more aggressive. Wrestling and on the ground, while irrelevant, are stalemates. Swick's reach should be the deciding factor in the fight unless he gets within range of the "Irish Hand Grenade."

Middleweight strikers Martin Kampmann and Jorge Rivera look to mix it up Saturday night. The Dutchman returns after a Lost-sized break. Some may classify Rivera as a journeyman, but the long-time Sitydotong fighter has seen an influx of top-flight training partners and is coming into his own despite being a veteran. He will get Xtreme on the Couture fighter…unless the fight hits the ground.

Late replacement Kevin Burns steps in for Ryo Chonan against Roan Carneiro. Although the Brazilian Top Team fighter does not like to play off his back, "Triangle choke!"

Brazilian and one scary dude Thiago Tavares expects to make "Handsome" Matt Wiman ugly, or at the very least, purple. The Murilo Bustamante disciple has seen mixed results against top competition. He has a tough fight against the Oklahoman, but he should have a win. Unfortunately for Tavares, he must put up with the subsequent tears of women aged 12-96 following Wiman's defeat.

In a battle too historically complex to detail here, welterweights Jess Liaudin stands across from Paul Taylor. Taylor is a gamer and had an epic outing against Paul Kelly in his last outing. Liaudin, like his opponent, recently lost to Marcus Davis. Elevating his training in America will not be enough to reverse Liaudin's fortune in this rematch against Taylor.

In a name ripped right out of the prominent world of Mexican-ska-punk, "The Manic Hispanic" Eddie Sanchez faces off with Dutchman Antoni Hardonk. The heavyweight class will stay standing-if not, expect 135-pound level grappling-in favor of Hardonk via knowing not much else. The night opens with promising light heavyweight prospects being regaled to dark match status due to not having Matt Wiman's sex appeal. Oh wait. Well, Jason "The Punisher" Lambert is poised to remind Luis Arthur Cane knees are illegal. It's not revenge…it's punishment. God I've been waiting to say that.